{"product_id":"dont-use-alcohol-let-alcohol-use-you-™-heavyweight-unisex-t-shirt","title":"Don't Use Alcohol. Let Alcohol Use You.™ | Heavyweight Unisex Crewneck T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDon't Use Alcohol. Let Alcohol Use You.™\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eSome advice should never be followed.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis \u003cstrong\u003eTerrible Life Advice™\u003c\/strong\u003e design takes nightlife to ridiculous extremes. While everyone thinks they're in control, this shirt suggests the bottle might have a different plan.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ePrinted on a premium heavyweight cotton Crewneck T-shirt that's built for comfort and almost guaranteed to start conversations.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch3\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eFeatures\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\nPremium heavyweight cotton\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\nRelaxed unisex fit\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\nSoft DTG print\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\nDesigned by \u003cstrong\u003eTerrible Life Advice™\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003cp\u003e\n\n\n\n\n\n\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e⚠ \u003cstrong\u003eSide effects may include laughter, double takes, and people asking where you got it.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\n\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eM\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eXL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e2XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e3XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e4XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e5XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eA) Length (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e71.1\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e73.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e76.2\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e78.7\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e81.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e83.8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e86\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e89\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eB) Width (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e91.4\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e101.6\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e111.8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e122\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e132\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e142.2\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e152\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e162\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eB) Half Chest 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Length (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e29\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e32\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e33\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e33.9\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e35\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eB) Width (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e36\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e40\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e44\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e48\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e52\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e56\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e59.8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e63.8\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eB) Half Chest (inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e18\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e29.9\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31.9\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\n\n\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare Instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eGeneral\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eThe tee combines comfort, style, and durability, making it a top choice for both everyday wear and craft projects.\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eWash\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eMaintain the tee's look and feel by washing it in cold water with similar 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